So High Right Now"
Parody of Anti-Drug Commercials/Propaganda
Not that Toxic Green is pro-drug.
It's just the anti-drug people are kinda extreme sometimes.
(Two guys are sitting around,
Male #1 (to his buddy):
"Hey, man-dude-bro-brah-broseph, you want to smoke some marijuana
Male #2: "MARIJUANA
CIGARETTES! No way! Marijuana cigarettes are the devil's best friend!"
Male #1: "C'mon, mannnnn...it'll
be a good time!"
Male #2: "A good time?
A good time! Marijuana has killed 90 of my relatives...having 'a good
time' has never killed anyone!"
Male #1: "Dude, marijuana's
never killed anyone!"
(A random voiceover is heard.
Both the characters don't talk when the voiceover plays, even though they
wouldn't be hearing a voiceover in the situation. There wouldn't be a
random voiceover announcer dude there while a guy is trying to convince
his friend to smoke marijuana.)
Random Voiceover: "Or
(The random voiceover is
never heard from again.)
Male #1: "Dude, if
you're my friend, you'll get high with me."
Male #2: "I'm already
high...on fucking Jesus, dude!"
Male #1: "Who's that?
Dude, come on, I'm dying of cancer..."
Male #2: "What, no
Male #1: "I swear I
am, dude, so just smoke some marijuana cigarettes with me...I'll be dead
in like 50 years from the cancer so you might as well enjoy what little
time we have left together...and let me enjoy it, too. Come on, it's what
this 'Jesus' guy that you're always talking about would've wanted."
Male #2: "Alright,
man, since you have cancer and all..."
Male #1: "I do! I totally
(They smoke some marijauna.
They immediately start going crazy.)
Male #2: "I SUDDENLY
HAVE THE URGE TO HURT AS MANY CUTE, INNOCENT ANIMALS AS POSSIBLE!"
Male #1: "ME TOO! EXCEPT
I ALSO WANNA HURT OLD PEOPLE! AND LITTLE KIDS!"
Male #2: "I FORGOT
WHAT I WAS JUST SAYING! I ALSO FORGOT WHO I AM AND WHERE I LIVE! I ALSO
FORGOT TODAY IS EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF MY FAMILY'S BIRTHDAY! ALSO, NOW
I'M ADDICTED TO HARDER DRUGS LIKE HEROIN AND METH! TO THINK, JUST A FEW
MINUTES AGO I WAS ABOUT TO GRADUATE FROM HARVARD, BUT NOW I CAN'T EVEN
GET A JOB AT McDONALD'S! Just kidding, anyone and everyone can get a job
(The random voiceover dude
Random Voiceover: "McDonald's!
I'm lovin' it!™"
Male #2: "I'm so fucked
up right now...and for good!"
(Cut to a cool/trippy instrumental
part of a song, most likely a Violent Femmes song or Lords of Acid song,
and the shot goes down along a huge line-up of munchies, when it gets
to the end, the camera zooms out and you see both the guys starting at
opposite ends of the munchies spectrum and shoving as much food in their
mouth as possible. They meet in the middle, and they both grab the same
Hostess Cupcake, and they fight over it.)
(Cut to a scene of both
of them at a personal computer, on the information superhighway/the world
wide web/the internet.)
Male #2: "Dude! You
just MapQuest'ed directions to your own house!"
Male #1: "Whaaaa?"
(Fade out, fade in.)
Male #2: "Dude! You
just Google'd yourself !"
Male #1: "Whooooo?"
(Fade out, fade in to the
two guys walking down some railroad tracks. They are playfully pushing
Male #1: "Dude, you're
so high right now! Look, you can't even walk!"
Male #2: "No, dude,
YOU'RE the one who's so high right now!"
Male #1: "No, you are!"
Male #2: "No, you are!
You're high! You're higher than me! I'm not even high!"
Male #1: "Trust me,
dude, you're so high right now!"
Male #2 (pulls out gun):
"Not as high as you!"
Male #1 (pulls out gun):
"Y0U ARE SO HIGH RIGHT NOW."
(The shot pauses on a faraway
shot of the two boys walking down the railroad tracks in the woods, with
guns pointed at each other. The shot stays on that picture for a few seconds,
then you hear gunshots and screams as the screen fades out.)