"You're So High Right Now"

A Parody of Anti-Drug Commercials/Propaganda
Not that Toxic Green is pro-drug.
Or anti-drug.
It's just the anti-drug people are kinda extreme sometimes.

(Two guys are sitting around, watching television.)

Male #1 (to his buddy): "Hey, man-dude-bro-brah-broseph, you want to smoke some marijuana cigarettes?!?"

Male #2: "MARIJUANA CIGARETTES! No way! Marijuana cigarettes are the devil's best friend!"

Male #1: "C'mon, mannnnn...it'll be a good time!"

Male #2: "A good time? A good time! Marijuana has killed 90 of my relatives...having 'a good time' has never killed anyone!"

Male #1: "Dude, marijuana's never killed anyone!"

(A random voiceover is heard. Both the characters don't talk when the voiceover plays, even though they wouldn't be hearing a voiceover in the situation. There wouldn't be a random voiceover announcer dude there while a guy is trying to convince his friend to smoke marijuana.)

Random Voiceover: "Or has it?!?"

(The random voiceover is never heard from again.)

Male #1: "Dude, if you're my friend, you'll get high with me."

Male #2: "I'm already high...on fucking Jesus, dude!"

Male #1: "Who's that? Dude, come on, I'm dying of cancer..."

Male #2: "What, no you're not!"

Male #1: "I swear I am, dude, so just smoke some marijuana cigarettes with me...I'll be dead in like 50 years from the cancer so you might as well enjoy what little time we have left together...and let me enjoy it, too. Come on, it's what this 'Jesus' guy that you're always talking about would've wanted."

Male #2: "Alright, man, since you have cancer and all..."

Male #1: "I do! I totally do! Cancer!"

(They smoke some marijauna. They immediately start going crazy.)

Male #2: "I SUDDENLY HAVE THE URGE TO HURT AS MANY CUTE, INNOCENT ANIMALS AS POSSIBLE!"

Male #1: "ME TOO! EXCEPT I ALSO WANNA HURT OLD PEOPLE! AND LITTLE KIDS!"

Male #2: "I FORGOT WHAT I WAS JUST SAYING! I ALSO FORGOT WHO I AM AND WHERE I LIVE! I ALSO FORGOT TODAY IS EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF MY FAMILY'S BIRTHDAY! ALSO, NOW I'M ADDICTED TO HARDER DRUGS LIKE HEROIN AND METH! TO THINK, JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO I WAS ABOUT TO GRADUATE FROM HARVARD, BUT NOW I CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT McDONALD'S! Just kidding, anyone and everyone can get a job at McDonald's!"

(The random voiceover dude returns!)

Random Voiceover: "McDonald's! I'm lovin' it!™"

Male #2: "I'm so fucked up right now...and for good!"

(Cut to a cool/trippy instrumental part of a song, most likely a Violent Femmes song or Lords of Acid song, and the shot goes down along a huge line-up of munchies, when it gets to the end, the camera zooms out and you see both the guys starting at opposite ends of the munchies spectrum and shoving as much food in their mouth as possible. They meet in the middle, and they both grab the same Hostess Cupcake, and they fight over it.)

(Cut to a scene of both of them at a personal computer, on the information superhighway/the world wide web/the internet.)

Male #2: "Dude! You just MapQuest'ed directions to your own house!"

Male #1: "Whaaaa?"

(Fade out, fade in.)

Male #2: "Dude! You just Google'd yourself !"

Male #1: "Whooooo?"

(Fade out, fade in to the two guys walking down some railroad tracks. They are playfully pushing each other.)

Male #1: "Dude, you're so high right now! Look, you can't even walk!"

Male #2: "No, dude, YOU'RE the one who's so high right now!"

Male #1: "No, you are!"

Male #2: "No, you are! You're high! You're higher than me! I'm not even high!"

Male #1: "Trust me, dude, you're so high right now!"

Male #2 (pulls out gun): "Not as high as you!"

Male #1 (pulls out gun): "Y0U ARE SO HIGH RIGHT NOW."

(The shot pauses on a faraway shot of the two boys walking down the railroad tracks in the woods, with guns pointed at each other. The shot stays on that picture for a few seconds, then you hear gunshots and screams as the screen fades out.)