When Pigs Fly

(A bunch of fags are sitting around. One homo just got off the telephone.) 

Faggot #1: "Alright, the pizzas are gonna be $32.47, plusss we gots to give a good tip if we want some action...that's if the delivery driver's cute, of course."

Tool #1: "Yeah, he's gotta be cute."

Sissy #1: "Yeah, elssse he can jusss leave town."

Wussy #1: "So to speak."

Pansy #1: "Yeah, for all we care, at least."

Fudgepacker #1: "Well, let'sss get the money ready."

(The little bitches all pitch in their share.) 

Turd Burglar #1: "Alex, how come you didn't give any money!?!" 

Alex Drossart: "Oh...well, I'll give it to you later. Now's not a good time."
Butt Pirate #1: "That's what you always say...about everything..."
Anal Invader #1: "Yeah! You never fuck us anymore...or suck us off...or anything. We're beginning to think you're not even gay." 

Alex Drossart: "No, trust me, dude. I'm as gay as they come. No pun intended. I've just been busy lately...but really...I'm as gay as it gets. I'm gayer than Siegfried, Roy, a fucking ton of rainbows, three dudes sucking on the same big lollipop, and Rosie O'Donnell's girlfriend, combined. Dude, I'm so fucking gay, when I was born, everyone on this beautiful earth got a little bit straighter."

Pussy #1: "Prove it."

Queer #1: "Yeah...push my shit in."

Alex Drossart: "What?"

Queer #1: "Push my fucking shit in. Right now."

Alex Drossart: "But the pizzas are coming soon."

Queer #1: "You better be coming soon. No pun intended."

Alex Drossart: "I'm really hungry, man."

Queer #1: "That's it!" (Drags Alex Drossart into a room and slams the door shut. There is a shot of a man's face as he cums taken from a porno.)

Starring Alex Drossart (as Alex Drossart/himself), Andrew "Blue steel" Freitag (as Faggot #1, Fudgepacker #1, and Turd Burglar #1), Paul Garon (as Tool #1 and Queer #1), Jake Ebenhoe (as Pansy #1 and Anal Invader #1), Paul Frank (as Sissy #1 and Butt Pirate #1), and Dave Cottingham (as Wussy #1 and Pussy #1).