Trick or Treat

{Two friends, a male and a female, are standing in the kitchen of a house.}

Male: "So...ya gonna go trick-or-treating with Ethan?" (smiles and looks down at young Ethan)

Female: "Um, I don't think so, I think he's too young yet, we'll wait a year, won't we, Ethan?"

Ethan: "gaga"

Male: "What?! Too young, are you kidding? Nobody's too young to go around to stranger's house and accept their candy...or too old, for that matter."

Female: "Yeah, I guess..."

Male: "So are you gonna go now?"

Female: "No..."

Male: "What?! Are you kidding, you're sooooo gonna regret this. You're gonna be so mad at yourself. Next--"

Female: "--What?!"

Male: "Goddammit. Next year when Ethan is dead, you're gonna regret this so bad. Next Halloween you'll be so pissed at yourself. You'll be all like 'how could I?!', and then you'll call me up and be all like 'ah wah err ethan' and I WON'T HAVE ANY SYMPATHY because I TOLD YOU...I TOLD YOU HE WOULD BE DEAD BEFORE THIS TIME NEXT YEAR and then you'll pretend like you can't remember that and you'll be pissed, you'll be all like 'how could you make fun of this situation', BUT I WON'T BE MAKING FUN OF THE SITUATION, I'LL BE DEAD SERIOUS AND I WILL BE TELLING THE TRUTH. Goddammit. Goddammit. Come on. FUCK!" (sweating profusely and clearly angered)

(The female is so shocked that she can't even think of the words to say.)

Male: "ETHAN WILL BE DEAD DEAD DEAD NEXT YEAR AND IT'LL ALL BE YOUR FAULT. You'll hold this grudge against yourself, like 'oh, I shoulda brought him out for Halloween...just once...if only once' and then whenever you enter rooms it'll be like a huge weight was just added to everyone else's shoulders, and you'll just bring the whole mood down, and everyone will know it's because you have a dead baby, and everyone will be like, 'you shoulda listened to Rufus, he knew what he was talking about, he told you that baby would be dead and that you should bring it out trick-or-treating...he only made sense..he makes so much sense...always."