SETTING: A study hall 'class'/period

Teacher: "No talking, if you guys have any questions on any of your homework, I can try to help you out...I went to school once." (freezes and waits for a reaction. He gets no laughter.) "Assholes." (sits down)

(Seventeen minutes later, a student comes up to his desk with his book, notebook, calculator, and pencil.)

Teacher: (looks at all the stuff) "What is this, school?!?" (he says it loudly and stands up and looks at the students. He gets nothing. He looks at the student angrily.) "Dick."

Student: "Actually, my name's Rick."

Teacher: "No, I was calling you a dick, Dick."

Student: "What? Anyways, I have a math problem."

Teacher: (sits up quickly) "A mEth PROBLEM?!?"

(Flashback of quick, simultaneous one-after-another images, similar to the METHod used in Requiem for a Dream. It would show different pictures of meth/crank, etc.)

Student: "I...NEED...HELP... WITH... MY...MATH..." (waving his hand in front of the study hall teacher's face)

Teacher: "You need help...meth got your soul?!?"

(Another flashback, this time with quick shots of people doing meth - smoking, snorting, and injecting it.)

Student: "Hey! Fuckin' help me here! Fix this."

Teacher: "Need a fix? Don't we all?"

(Another flashback of people speeding from meth.)

Student: "OK. So I know how to do this when it's addition here, but I haven't a goddamn fairy's blip how to do it when it's division."

Teacher: "Did you say 'addiction'?"

(Quick shots of a ton of those fake Before/After meth photos.)

Teacher: (looks at student for first time) "I guess you're not the only one with a meth problem..." (they look at each other, both frowning and sad and full of grief) (eyes light up, starts smiling) "Best problem of your life, right, huh?!?"

(They high five.)

Teacher: "WOOOOOO!" (flips over desk and walks out)

(Happy music starts playing, possibly over the before/after photos, if I want to go to Hell.)

(Fade out.) END