(A guy is standing
behind a counter, such as in a cooking show. Don't know what I'm talking
about? Okay, one word - Emeril. Now you ignorant Americans know. Anyhoo,
the guy has like $100 in 20's in his hands, and he repeatedly counts it,
making a loud noise as he pulls each bill apart. Anyhoo, the guy is like
an old, washed-up celebrity or whatever. He had his fifteen minutes of
fame, but he didn't disappear completely, and he took whatever crappy
acting job he could get, when everyone agrees it would've been better
if he would've disappeared and not ruined his name and reputation. Anyhoo,
the guy's starring in a commercial for a product.)
"Hi! I'm Dick Thurgood!
You may remember me from my numerous 1970's starring acting roles! I was
awesome! But then I went into a downward spiral and slipped into a downhill
battle against drugs, sex, and every other thing the Devil showed to me!
I was having sex with random people on the street and taking LSD everyday!
But, hey! This isn't E! True Hollywood Story! A-cha-cha!"
(Switch camera angle, maybe
"But I'm here to tell
you about this great product... and no, I'm not talking about the wine...a-cha-cha!"
(Chugs a glass of wine near
him, the glass is next to a wine bottle to show you that the glass does
in fact have wine from that bottle in it.)
"No! I'm talkin' about
Frosted Flakes...OF CORN!" (His eyes bulge out when he says the OF
CORN part, and obviously he says it at a very loud volume.)
(A quick shot of the camera
pointed at Dick's legs/feet. You hear the audio of Dick saying "alright,
can I get my money now?")