man named Edward is at work, talking to his coworkers. He wants to be
in their research group, but they're hesitant to include him.)
"Well, on a different note, I got this silly shirt last night, I'm
gonna wear it for Casual Friday tomorrow."
cracks up and tries to restrain their laughter, except for Edward.)
"What? What's so funny?"
a female coworker who overheard comes up to him.)
"Edward, tomorrow's not Casual Friday, tomorrow's Thursday. Don't
tell anyone I told you. I just felt bad for you, ya know?"
looks up at her stunned / shocked / surprised / terrified.)
a shot of Edward at his house. He is lying on the floor. He is wet, cold,
shaking, and in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, with a gun
pointed to his own head. Show this for several seconds and then fade out.)
is at a party. Some partygoer who seems like he might be gay has just
to the guy next to him and says "was that guy g-a-y gay?"
"I knew it. I have one o' them, what do ya call it...gaydads...gay
next to him cracks up and goes, "I think you mean gaydars. You know,
like a gay radar."
laughs at Edward.
a shot of Edward in a room. A chair is in the middle of the room, and
a tied rope is hanging from the ceiling, a 'noose', if you will. Edward
stands on the chair and as he's putting his neck in the noose, the camera
talking with a coworker. The coworker seems like he doesn't want to talk
to Edward. Nobody really wants to talk to Edward. But Edward keeps talking
anyway, since he's wondering about a coworker he likes.
"So, her boyfriend's moving away? Ooh, sounds like a prime opportunity
to move in on her, if you catch my drift. Or are they gonna have one o'
"What's an LTD?"
a matter-of-fact tone): "LTD...? Long-distance-relationship? Duh!...?"
they were talking about comes up next to them.
"That's LDR, Edward, but no one abbreviates long distance relationship,
which is what me and my boyfriend are going to have."
shot of Edward going into his garage later that day/night. He closes the
garage door, gets in his car, starts the car, puts all the windows down,
and sits there [hoping to get carbon monoxide poisioning].)
out on a date, with a girl, for probably the first time in his whole life.
Don't get too sad, Edward's a fictional character.
Edward gets this girl at his house, although nothing sexual is going on.
They're sitting at a table, eating, and talking. Edward made a romantic
dinner...TV dinners, that is.
always wanted to get a nosejob..."
his fork, the fork makes a clanging sound on the plate it was dropped
"Oooh, that's hot. I've never heard of it, though. Do I just stick
it in your nose...or what?"
the female drops her fork, or whatever eating utensil she's using, and
shot of Edward getting a glass from a cupboard. He puts ice in it, then
goes into his bathroom. He pours cologne into the glass, and raises the
glass to his mouth as the camera fades out.)