Ethical Turnaround

A guy who always makes stupid jokes suddenly isn't so funny anymore.

#1: "Hey, man, do you think I can borrow two dollars to get some McFries?"

Tedward (sassily): "I'll give you two dollars."

#1: (rolls eyes)


#2 (watching tv): "If someone did that to me, I'd kick their ass."

Tedward: "I'll kick your ass."


Tedward (helping stepmom unpack groceries): "Where does this shit go?"

Stepmom: "..........and stick those wieners in the meat drawer..."

Tedward: "I'll stick my wiener in your meat dra - "

Stepmom: (eyebrows raise)

Tedward: (stops mid-sentence, goes through several facial expressions) "I have just had a complete ethical turnaround!"


Friend: "Hey, can I have five hundred dollars?"

Tedward: "I'll give you five hundred dollars." (frowns, pulls out wallet, and gives his friend five hundred dollars cash)


Stepmom: "Pound that in hard, the nail always comes loose."

Tedward: "I'll pound you hard..."

(Has sex with his stepmom.)