College Education

[A man comes home wearing a suit. He loosens his tie, grabs a newspaper off of the table, and reclines in a reclining chair, reading the newspaper.]

[His son comes up to him holding a white letter and an opened envelope.]

Son: "Uh, yeahhhhhh...hi, dad...uh, it says here that the account is empty or 'out of funds' or whatever, uh, ummm..."

[The father figure looks as if he is angry, and stares at his son.]

Father figure: "What's your point, Leonard?"

Son: "Yeah, my name's Josh, but, uhhh...I just thought you were saving, um, some of that money, for, know, my college education."

[The father figure looks over the newspaper at his son. He lowers his glasses.]

Father figure: "Your what?"

Son: "My, uh, college education."

Father figure: "Your college education?"

Son: "Uhhh, yyyyeeeeaaaahhhh...."

Father figure: "Your college education? You wanna know what I think of your college education?"

(The father figure slowly rips the newspaper he was reading, vertically in half down the crease. He gets up, grabs the letter and envelope from his son, and quickly rips them up into several pieces.]

[The father figure goes into a bedroom, his son's. His son drags behind. Once the father figure is by the computer, he spins around and looks at his son.]

Father figure: "Are you using this computer for school, like mommy told you to?"

Son: "Uh, yeah..."

[The father figure unplugs the monitor and carries it out of the room. As he's leaving, he re-asks the question.]

Father figure: "You wanna know what I think of your college education?"

[The shot cuts to the top of the house. The father figure and the son are standing on the roof, the father is still holding the computer monitor.]

Father figure: "Here's what I think of jour college education."

[The father figure throws the computer monitor off of the roof onto the driveway below.]

[Cut to shot of father figure and son in driveway. The father figure grabs the cord of the computer monitor and pulls the monitor up and whips it down using the cord.]

[Cut to shot of son coming out of school. His father pulls up driving fast in a car. He brakes suddenly. He throws his son's CPU out of the window. It hits the curb in front of his son.]

Father figure: "College education, schmollege schmeducation."

[The father figure speeds off as soon as he puts the car in drive, squeaking the wheels loudly.]

[Cut to shot of son and his friend biking through the woods. They stop below a bridge to catch their breath and to get a drink.]

[The father figure appears above the bridge, also on a bike. He stops, jumps off the bike, and throws the bike to the side. He was carrying a computer printer. He throws it off of the bridge.]

Father figure: (mocking son) "I'm Leonard and I like college education, don't you, Leonard." (talking like one would to a baby)

[The father figure gets back on his bike. As he comes near the two kids, he gets off his bike. He pulls two speakers out of his jacket, whips them several times onto the rocks, and then bikes away.]

Father figure: "College education...ha!"

[Cut to shot of son coming out of Wal-Mart. The father figure pulls up, gets out, puts a computer mouse on the ground, gets in the car, backs up, runs over the mouse, backs up over the mouse, and then gets out of the car. He looks in the bags his son is carrying, spots a Snickers bar, pulls it out, rips open the wrapper, and bites off half of the candy bar.]

Father figure: (talking with his mouth full and open/while chewing) "Not going anywhere for a while? Grab a Snickers."

[The father figure picks up the mouse and throws it as far as he can, which isn't too far.]

Father figure: "That's what I think of your 'college education'."