Inspired by a true story

(It is after school or during a prep hour or something to that effect. A teacher is sitting at his desk or computer doing work. Suddenly, we hear a heavy knocking at the door. The knocker is a student and he immediately pushes the door in very hard. The teacher sets his pencil down or turns away from his computer.)

TEACHER: "Can I help you, Gustaped?"

GUSTAPED (STUDENT): "Fuck yeah, you can help me! I lost my bag!"

TEACHER: "Your bookbag?"

GUSTAPED: "No! Bag of coke, dumbass!"

TEACHER: "Coca-Cola?"

GUSTAPED: "No, douchebag! My bag of cocaine!"

TEACHER: "Oh. Well, let me help you."

GUSTAPED: "Did you just say 'oh, well'?! How dare you!"

TEACHER: "No..."

(Gustaped is frantically searching under desks and in various classroom stuff.)

GUSTAPED: "So did you see my cocaine bag?!?"

TEACHER: "No, I'm sorry, I did not. Where did you last have it?"

GUSTAPED: "Well, I for sure had it in the class before this one because I snorted some in that class!"

TEACHER: "When did you find out you lost it?"

GUSTAPED: "The class after this! I was going to snort some but it was gone! It has to be in here! Did you take it?! Get up! Get up from your chair!"

(Gustaped looks on the teacher's seat, and then starts ruffling through his desk, pulling out drawers and throwing the contents around.)

TEACHER: "Listen, here's the best I can do. I'll keep an eye open for it, alright?"

(The student storms out without responding, completely unsatisfied. The teacher makes sure he's gone, and in a shocking twist, pulls out from his pocket a bag of white powdery substance, then snorts the substance off of a textbook.)