Inspired by a true story
(It is after
school or during a prep hour or something to that effect. A teacher is
sitting at his desk or computer doing work. Suddenly, we hear a heavy
knocking at the door. The knocker is a student and he immediately pushes
the door in very hard. The teacher sets his pencil down or turns away
from his computer.)
TEACHER: "Can I help
GUSTAPED (STUDENT): "Fuck
yeah, you can help me! I lost my bag!"
TEACHER: "Your bookbag?"
GUSTAPED: "No! Bag
of coke, dumbass!"
GUSTAPED: "No, douchebag!
My bag of cocaine!"
TEACHER: "Oh. Well,
let me help you."
GUSTAPED: "Did you
just say 'oh, well'?! How dare you!"
(Gustaped is frantically
searching under desks and in various classroom stuff.)
GUSTAPED: "So did you
see my cocaine bag?!?"
TEACHER: "No, I'm sorry,
I did not. Where did you last have it?"
GUSTAPED: "Well, I
for sure had it in the class before this one because I snorted some in
TEACHER: "When did
you find out you lost it?"
GUSTAPED: "The class
after this! I was going to snort some but it was gone! It has to be in
here! Did you take it?! Get up! Get up from your chair!"
(Gustaped looks on the teacher's
seat, and then starts ruffling through his desk, pulling out drawers and
throwing the contents around.)
TEACHER: "Listen, here's
the best I can do. I'll keep an eye open for it, alright?"
(The student storms out
without responding, completely unsatisfied. The teacher makes sure he's
gone, and in a shocking twist, pulls out from his pocket a bag of white
powdery substance, then snorts the substance off of a textbook.)