Cheetos Fingers

Six guys are playing a game of football. One guy drops a crucial pass. His teammates confront him.

"How could you drop that, faggity fag fag fag fag?"

"Yeah, butterfingers!"

(gritting his teeth) "They're not butterfingers; they're Cheetos Fingers!"

He runs straight home, crying. Tears are gushing down his face as he pushes his dog around, taking out his aggression on this innocent canine.

"Goddamnit! Nobody understands!"

(He is still crying as he shoves Cheetos down his throat.)


Main character is in a job interview. Everything appears to be going great. Interviewer offers him the job. They both stand up and interviewer extends his hand for a handshake. Guy wipes his hands on his pants, but it doesn't help. Interviewer looks at his now orange-stained pants and his orange-stained disgusting fingers. He recoils in horror and retracts both his hand and the job offer. Cut to two security guys dragging a kicking, screaming, and eating Cheetos Fingers out.


A clearly trashed Cheetos Fingers brings home an equally drunk woman. He starts rubbing her and giving her a massage, smothering her clothes in orange Cheetos crumbs. It seems Cheetos Fingers will lose his virginity tonight. As he goes under her shirt, she feels the Cheetos crumbs and freaks out, noticing for the first time what's going on. She runs away. He cries out to her while comforting himself in a new bag of Cheetos, crying, yelling, and spitting Cheetos everywhere.

Other possible scenarios:

Getting downgraded on all homework assignments because of the 'food stains'

Getting fired from work for the same reason or for contaminating food

Recieving Communion / contaminating Holy Water

Looking at photos/ getting Cheetos fingerprints on someone's Wedding / Vacation / New Baby prints